Hi there!

I'm so glad you wrote to us. It's always best when worried to check everything out or you'll just worry again and it will only drive you nuts. I know she has not had swings like this in the past, but that doesn't rule out bipolar. I am 41 and my 18 year old daughter has bipolar also from 6th grade when she was in the psyche ward for the first time of 7-8 in the last 7 years. With her they said it may have come on when it did because of her hormones.

Now I'm not saying to worry because when I got pregnant I was depressed and angry and all kinds of things. It just hit me that way. It could be a combination of the two that could go away after the pregnancy. I worried before and after my daughter was born that I wouldn't be a good mother because of my illnesses and though none of the 10 illnesses were directly passed down, there was a predisposition for it. I was a wreck thinking she'd get my illnesses and was unstable the first 3 months after her birth-(partly because she had severe colic and I didn't sleep except every 4 days or so).

I'd say the best thing is to remain calm and supportive as you have been. That usually calms me down when my fiance' doesn't blow up when I do, but I know that is very difficult when someone is lashing out. I'm on Paxil for my bipolar and Lamictal. She seems to be on bipolar meds, but maybe they aren't working as they used to. I'd try another Dr. and get the bipolar diagnosis or severe depression, or whatever he/she feels the problem is. There are bipolar meds out there that can be taken when one is pregnant as I understand from others. Keep trying the Dr.'s until you find one that feels really right to both of you. I know I'm not helping a lot, but all I have is ideas of what might be the causes of the severe changes in behavior. Often times at the end of the first 3 months, moods stabalise with a regular pregnancy. Keeping a log of when moods arupt and what happened before the mood change, what foods were eaten, how tired she was, etc. would be helpful in seeing a pattern and to take to the Dr. Id'd emphasise the severity to her OB/GYN because with me the Dr. just kept saying "mood swings are normal" and wouldn't do anything. These are drastic swings it sounds like and don't let the Dr. sweep it under the rug as though it were nothing. You know more info than anyone in this situation, so remember that. Sometimes going with your gut feeling when you are in this case the expert is a good thing.

For my daughter we always have the 24 hour crisis line as well as a few friends so she has a backup plan if she's really loosing it- that might be a good idea. And you can explain all this without being condescending, but worried and compassionate and loving so you don't get in another fight. Please write back on the progress of things on the board or write me directly at MistRaeven@aol.com

Best of luck,

Love, light, and joy,

Raeven

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Replying to:

Hello,



My girlfriend and I just found out she's pregnant, this would normally be cause to celebrate, but her mood since she found out has changed drastically. Our relationship has it's up and downs just like any other, and we've been having a tough time of it lately, starting about a week or so before we found out she was pregnant. She was out of town at her mother's when she found out about the pregnancy, and I had a buddy of mine over for the weekend. She became irritated with me for not immediately going to see her, I told her I was going to go out to watch a friend perform at a local bar/restaurant, and that's when she lost it. She's a strong headed woman and has been somewhat difficult when she's been angry in the past, but nothing like this. She started lashing out at me, telling me I'm no good, saying I was probably talking to my friends about how I didn't want the baby, telling me she doesn't need me, why did I call her to make her upset, she wasn't coming home, telling me how emotional she is, hormones and emotions all over the place, hung up, called back, etc. I tried my best to keep my head, lost it a bit once or twice, but kept my composure as best I could. We spoke again this morning and I said to her I was looking forward to her coming home so we could talk things over. She started again, she complained of being scared about the future, "what if I die when the baby's born", crying, thinking I was lying to her when I told her things. There were a few more things like that, completely out of character. Eventually she calmed down and explained that her emotions got the best of her, and that she was very tired, and had been since she found out about the pregnancy. Her mother is was diagnosed with bipolar disorder some time ago, and she(my girlfriend) has been treated for minor depression. She has taken Buspar, and another one called Paxil if I'm correct. Although her therapist says she's not bipolar, I understand these things can be tricky to diagnose. I'm not sure wether this is just due to the pregnancy, or if it's a legitimate concern. I have been reading as much as I can on the subject, and realize that this may be a bit premature, but I am concerned. My apologies for being so long winded, but for her benefit I thought it would be best to describe what happened as best I could. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks again for your time.

Thank you so much for all of your helpful information. Fortunately there hasn't been a repeat of those first two days. There have been some mood swings, but nothing even close to what initially happened. We talked about it, and will be sure to follow up when we go see the Dr. I will be sure to le you know what happens. Thanks again.