Hi there!

I'm so glad you wrote in to us. I don't think you are alone, since I've had similar situations. I only have one child, 18, who has bipolar also, but I don't know how I could handle how many kids you have, and also a disabled child. I'm also 41 and I'm on disability for fibromyalgia and lupus. When I started disability 8 years ago after loosing an 8 year teaching career I loved, it was difficult and frustrating as you sound like you are. I was on disability for bipolar also since it was out of control.

I'm on many meds and though Lithium didn't work for me, my meds have made me feel like I'm just kind of "gone" for a few months at a time, and don't feel like the energetic and alive person I once was. I sometimes crawl into my bear cave as my fiancee' calls it when I hide out in bed for a long period and don't feel like doing anything and feel dull and unfeeling. It's a lonely existance, and I feel guilty not being able to do things for my fiancee' or daughter.

I have a constant upper and mid back pain that I have to take pain killers for to get through the day. I'm pretty sure the back pain is from the fibromyalgia, but research is saying that large numbers of people with fibro also have bipolar, so it could be normal for your pain to come from bipolar. I would also guess that if you are trying to work and taking care of the kids that it's a HUGE amount of stress which shows up in the upper part of the back.

My husband divorced me after 16 years also. He felt he had put his time in with someone sick and needy, and crazy as he called the bipolar. It was a long hard transition. How long ago were you divorced?

I'd try another Dr. and see what can be said about lithium. I know it has a 'good track record' and is quite old, so many super cautious Dr.s go that route. But there are SO many meds for bipolar now that trying another might hep ALOT. I felt very foggy and kinda dead when I was on lithium. Besides the regular bipolar meds you might try for a month to see if they work, there are meds like I'm on-Paxil and Lamictal- where the Lamictal is actually an anti seisure med. that they found helps bipolar also.

In my fibromyalgia support group, at least 3/4 of the woman and 1 man have bipolar also. One woman who seems VERY knowledgeble said there's a new drug, geodon, that has really helped people a lot. I'm going to ask my Dr. about it. It is another that was for something else and they found it helps with bipolar. It's a mood stabalizer and antipsychotic but in different doses than a person who is psychotic would take.

If you have other questions, or just need support, write on the board, or E-mail me at MistRaeven@aol.com

I am being evicted in 2 weeks so there will be a 3 or 4 day lag time. My computer has been getting on this site and when I finally get to the chit chat board it says on a white screen that I can't get through basically. So I'm sorry it has taken me longer to write you back.

From everything you said it seems to be the things that bipolar people go through. It's lousy but you are not alone!

Take Care, and try to fit some rest in though that must be difficult with the job and the kids.

Love, light, and joy,

Raeven

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Replying to:

feeling unemotional. I have been off and on Lithium since 1989 for hypo-mania. I am 41 with four children, 3 daughters 20,13,5 anf one severely handicapped child. I have been on Lithium since my lasy attack in 2000 and i feel very emotionally controlled. I feel no love. I function at work in a bank pretty much ok and my employer in happy with me and wants to promote me to supervisor. i suffer awful stress pains in my upper back. Does anybody else suffer this pain? My wife and I split up after 19 years of marraige. My girlfriend has two children, she asks my to say to her i love you but i cant express love and have very little ability to feel what other people are feeling. i feel trapped because if i come off of my lithium then i might lose my job. because i have had three attacks i think i have to take lithium for the rest of my life. I just want to know my old seld again i an so confused if i am down is it because the lithium is keeping me from a severe depression? i spoke to the doctor and he said i just have to go through this phase and my mood will lift. i there anybody going through a similar thing to me?